Change always involves loss

This blog is facetiously named in many ways. There are almost always regrets when people make life-changing decisions.  They wished they had gone to a different school, moved to a different city, had another child and the regrets get bigger or smaller depending on the types of decisions.

The choice to pursue medical transition related to gender identity is a significant life changing decision. I’ve spent the last few years thinking about the concepts of “regret,” “de-transitioning,” “re-transitioning,” and language like MTFTM or FTMTF.

I’ve always been a little bit backwards thinking.  I’m interested in failures.  Understanding why something doesn’t work, helps me understand how to improve what it is that we do have. As a therapist, I am trying to understand how best to provide information to people so they can make informed choices.  I do believe that there are people who should transition surgically, hormonally, socially and psychologically.  I also believe that some people regret the decisions they made to transition, however they transitioned.

I realize that in talking about this, I am headed into dangerous waters.  I am neither advocating for anyone to transition or to not transition.  I am advocating for accurate information and self-determination.  Often, I think that because something succeeded for one person or failed for one person, we use that to say that whole groups of people should follow suit.  There are different types of and degrees of regret.

This blog is going to attempt to explore some of that in an effort to support both people who want information about transitioning and people who will no longer follow the path of gender transition.


About gendertherapist

Psychotherapist in San Francisco. I am a gender specialist.
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